patience agbabi

london, 1965
poet and performer. born in london to nigerian parents, she spent her early days in north wales and studied in oxford. for the last 12 years has participated in many readings and festivals both in the u.k. and abroad.
r.a.w., her first work, appeared in 1995 and in 1997 won the excelle literary award. her poetry has been published in several journals and anthologies among which: bittersweet: contemporary black women’s poetry and ic: the penguin book of new black writing in britain (2000). her last work, transformatrix (2000), a comentary about the british society in the late 20th century as well as a celebration of the poetic form, was published in the year 2000 and received excellent reviews in publications such as the daily telegraph, the independent on sunday and poetry review.
aside from her many readings, agbabi has also collaborated with adeola agbebiyi and dorothea smartt to create fo(u)r women, a polyphonic drama piece, awarded in 1996 by the ica. she was also a member of atomic lip, the first pop poetry group, between 1995 and 1998, whose last tour quadrophonix (1998) included a video recording with a live performance. recently she has toured the uk with several poets related to the spoken word milieu, in a show called modern love, where they talk about love and current relationships. in march 2002 she participated in the swiss tour of modern love with malika booker, also a poet and drama author.
patience agbabi usually reads solo in the main literary events around the uk, such as the edinburgh book festival and the ledbury poetry festival as well as in music events among which the glastonbury festival and the soho jazz festival. she has also been invited by the british council to give an extensive series of readings in venues such as university halls and underground stations in countries like namibia (1999), the czech republic (2000), zimbabwe and germany (2001) and switzerland (2002).
agbabi lives in london and is deemed to be one of the main voices of the new british poetry. she is currently working in her third book, body language.

 

The X-Factor

What skills can I offer you?
I play tennis on the net,
against myself. Come come!
Filling out your application form
was like having an orgy in a one-man tent
and I'm every woman. You called me,

Mr Y, 'cause you have an enemy,
Yourself. You let rules contain you.
I twist rules to keep content.
I'm the fish that invented fishnet
stockings, not tights. You conform
to justify your six-figure income.

You open your door, make me welcome
in your cell of an office and open sesame
I make your glass ceiling an art form.
Perspective, Mr Y. I can help you
and I'm not talking in gross or net,
copyright or patent.

I think you guess my intent.
Why did I come?
I'm the master mistress in the sonnet
but there's more than two sides to me.
The whole human race is my menu.
Each living thing. I can adopt their form

their exact DNA, and perform
as them, Mr Y. I'm a mutant.
But you knew that didn't you.
Red hair and blue scales become
me. But I'd rather be you than me.
I like people who run the planet


and your status is a magnet,
your executive uniform,
your air of forced bonhomie
masking a decade of discontent.
Your body, Mr Y. I have become
you. I am your echo. I am you.

Welcome, Mr Y. What skills can you offer me?
Now I have you in my net.
Elaborate on the content of your form…




Look at Lolo!


What collagen-enhanced lips she has,
what big blonde hair,
what oo la la!
Look at Lolo!

Her almond eyes entice,
her mouth is open wide
as a rubber doll.
All you have to do is blow.

A surgeon's Galatea,
a postmodern freak
more silicon than cellulite.
Pull a string and watch her tits grow

to 54G.
Scared to fly in case she explodes,
craves the final anaesthetic
shift from body to soul.

Look at Lolo.
Her living is self-loathing,
crying, talking, sleep-walking
on pills and alcohol

till she's past tense.
Like Marilyn Monroe.
Take a long last look at her.
She was thirty years old.